It's hard for me to believe that it's been ten years. In some ways in seems like it's been much longer and other ways it feels like it hasn't been that long. I can remember the day so clearly that it feels like it was yesterday, but when I try to remember the sound of her voice or her laugh it seems like it's been forever. I try not to think about those things very often because it just makes me sad and miss her a ton. I'm such a different person than I was then (I was a junior in high school--I hope I've changed!) and I can't imagine what my relationship with her would be like. I can't imagine how it would be to still have her here and I try not to think about it because that, too, is too sad and hard for me. I hear my little nieces mention "Grandma Denise" and it makes me so sad that they won't know their grandma here, who would absolutely love and adore them. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that they will, someday, get to know her and love her and be loved by her and that I will see her again. I can't imagine how much harder this would be without that knowledge.
This picture is the one of the last pictures, if not the last one, taken of my mom.
It was taken at my oldest brother's wedding, three weeks before she died. It is one of my favorite pictures of my mom and dad. I feel so blessed to have such great parents, even if I only got to spend 16 years with my mom. I can't wait to someday have a relationship with her as an adult, rather than a selfish teenager, and for Dan and Lincoln (and other kids to come) to meet and love her.
I just want to say thanks to all my friends and family who were, and have been, so supportive to me in regards to this. I couldn't have asked for better. In spite of my trials, I know I am so blessed and hope I never take it for granted.
10 comments:
I can't believe that it has been 10 years. I am sure it has been a hard day for you. Your mom was a beautiful and amazing lady. I am sure she is watching and is proud of who you have become.
that is a cute picture, she was such a sweet lady. Thank goodness we have the gospel to help ease the pain a little.
Wow, I can't believe it's been 10 years. It's amazing how much things have changed. I have so many wonderful memories of your mom. She was such a fun lady. One image that sticks out to me is at our Roach reunion we were camping, I can't remember if it was Boulder or Payson Lakes, and she was so happy, always laughing. I think this was the last reunion we did. Thanks for sharing such a personal blog. She would be so proud of you.
Ashely, that was so touching. I didn't know your mom, but I know you and your amazing, so I have to think that she was too.
I, of course, cried through your whole post. I know she is watching over all of us and loves us so much. I have certainly felt her spirit in my life and can't wait to give her a big hug and have my kids give "Grandma Denise" a big hug too!
What a cool family to find her such a great place to be comfy in! What a beautiful lady! Thanks for sharing!
It's crazy to think how fast ten years have flown by. I remember it well. One of my favorite memories of your Mom was the time she let you drive the van, and we tried to put gas in it. I still laugh when I think of it. Funny, funny. Love 'ya!
I can't imagine having to lose your mother at such a young age. I am sad for you that she isnt here to see you be a mother yourself. But what a blessing eternal families are and the comfort and peace that it brings. (I wouldnt say that to someone that has lost someone close to them unless I have partially walked in their shoes. We lost my husband's little sister a few years ago, suddenly and very tragically, she was only 19. )
What a pretty picture. When I see pics of your mom, it alternates between "wow, Alecia really looks like her" and "So that's where Ashley got her...eyes, nose, whatever." You guys are really a good mix of her. What a pretty and, from what I hear, classy woman.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of your mom. I miss her so much too! Sometimes when I feel lonesome for her, on my way home I swing up to the cemetery. Somehow I makes me feel better. She was a great friend and mother. She loved her kids! I am so happy for you and your sweet family. What a blessing for you to be able to take your son to the temple. Your mom will be there smiling down on you. Love Ya!!!
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